Living in the world’s northernmost town means I invariably snag anything with polar bears, seals, penguins and other creatures roaming the extreme ends of the Earth. Saying I can see polar bears from my backyard isn’t comic exaggeration – indeed, it’s essential to carry a rifle to ward them off when wandering beyond the city limits.
That is far, far easier on the nerves than trying to play this game.
Polar Bear Racing is roughly the 12 trillionth make-your-way-through-the-scrolling-landscape game, making me suspect it’s an early mandatory assignment in Apps For Dummies programming classes. The player guides a sledding bear through a downwardly scrolling ice field, which is remarkably narrow given its indefinite length. Obstacles, abrupt turns and other hazards send you into the drink, ending your single-life quest.
Many of these games seek to offer some novelty and in this one it’s – deep breath – a control scheme that obstructs your view.
Take a good look at your polar bear when the game starts, because it’s the last time you’ll see him until you die. The player controls the bear by placing a finger over it and sliding it around. Annoying, but at least playable until reaching obstacles and curves where some degree of precision is necessary.
Oh, there also a speed-up button where you also rack up points faster, but so what.
This game might get a bit of slack if it didn’t cost 99 cents, and a handful of reviewers have praised it as “cute” and “easy,” but even as a freebie there’s bucketloads of far superior scrollers. Much as I love the programmer’s desire to “introduce a game about the Arctic,” this one is a meltdown.
Score: 2 out of 10
By Mark Sabbatini
Polar Bear Racing by Hanbin Kim (1shotgames)
$0.99
Platform Reviewed: iPhone/iPod/iPad (Requires iPhone OS 3.0 or later)
Category: Arcade
Languages Supported: English
Rating: 4+
File Size: 4.9 MB
