Video games are usually play-tested before foisting them on paying customers.Therefore it’s’s baffling to think what Food Processing, an iOS arcade puzzler from Chillingo, went through (or didn’t) between the “final” line of code and the App Store. Both the visuals and controls render this game largely unplayable, making a game that’s not very original a rare instance where it’s not even worth the minuscule 99-cent investment.
The challenge of Food Processing is to open an assortment of fruits and veggies as they move across a conveyor belt by slicing and smashing them, with a total of three incorrect moves or foods scrolling off the right of the screen ending the game. And I do mean challenge. This game is brutally hard from the beginning due to (I hope) programming flaws.
The first wave, for instance, is to pop pea pods by tapping each of the trapped orbs, but not if they’re rotten. Sometimes an entire pod is rotten and it’s easy to spot and skip, but when there’s only one rotten pea it’s often indistinguishable from the good ones. I completed this wave the first time I played it without problems, but they reared up with maddening inconsistency during many subsequent attempts. I kept thinking somebody must be blind for this to happen and I’m rather hoping it isn’t me.
The next wave adds corn on the cob that must be sliced into three equal pieces using finger swipes and here is where control problems surface. Many slices go undetected or are imprecisely applied, so again it’s possible for games to come to a quick end through what feels like no fault of your own. This doesn’t go away with other produce that gets added to the mix, so the entire game is largely overshadowed by an aura that something unjustified will doom your stressful labors to overcome the game’s ills.
I’m a tough grader so I did a quick perusal of other reviews (something I dislike lest a phrase leak it’s way into my article and trigger a plagiarism scandal that destroys my career) and even those offering high praise had trouble with the controls. Experience with many apps having control problems tells me 1) this makes the rest of the game’s qualities largely moot and 2) Chillingo will probably issue an update at some point that remedies this to a greater or lesser degree.
Also, touching on the originally issue, Food Processing is portrayed as an expansion of the highly popular Fruit Ninja and going strictly on spec that’s true. But it’s not like there’s a shortage of other often critically acclaimed ways to show off your batonnet skills including Slice, Slice It!, Perfect Slice, iSlash, Vikings Slice, Zombie Slice, Halloween Slice, Christmas Slice, iSlash … you get the idea. That’s before getting to other games with broader takes on the concept such as Cut The Rope.
Getting to the positives, since Food Processing’s flaws are fixable: The graphics (other than those pea pods) and rock-dominated sound are up to Chillingo standards. Stuff bursts open in an appropriately colorful and messy manner. The tasks are varied, such as slicing off only the tops of eggplants or cracking walnuts. A Hell’s Kitchen mode that unlocks at 600 points ramps up the challenge with such as “forbidden fruit” and power-ups (and downs?) that alter things like the conveyor1s speed and visibility. There’s also selectable conveyor belts that are unlocked with certain point totals, although none of the ones I saw were more appealing than the default wood planks.
One-star ratings are reserved for those games that actually do evil in some way and Food Processing isn’t one of those. But it takes a concept with reasonably broad appeal and hacks it into the same kinds of shreds as all that unevenly sliced produce. Fairness also means noting other reviewers have had better experiences, so if the urge is strong enough try the free trial version first and see if visual/control problems are an issue. But with plenty of other slice-and-dice games available, I’m fine letting Food Processing’s harvest decompose into virtual compost.
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Mark Sabbatini
Free
Food Processing by Chillingo Ltd./Embattle Games
Category: Puzzle
Language: English
Rated: 4+
Requires: iOS 3.0 or later
Size: 17.2 MB
